Randy has now taken to the pillow, affectionately named Jaws.

By Laurie Stone

My husband Randy is the best present giver ever, buying gifts with the greatest care, planning and generosity. So, for my birthday recently, when he pulled out a huge, heavy box for me to open, I was intrigued. Inside lay a vacuum-packed item that looked like it contained something large, white and soft. “What is this?” I asked. Randy gave a knowing smile.

I carefully cut open the vacuum packaging to reveal a thick white, rolled up strip of cotton bedding. I knew exactly what this was. Recently we’d taken a vacation and our Air B&B bed had two extra-long “body pillows.” Randy must’ve noted how I loved snuggling into this almost full-body length (if you’re short like me) downy softness.

With this in mind, he had bought me a soft, extra-long pillow.

Supersize It

Only this wasn’t just any soft, extra-long pillow, this was the largest, most jumbo size bed cushion to be found. I pulled and tugged and finally heaved it from the box. When I laid it on the rug and watched it expand to its full width and height, I gasped. This pillow was the size of a phone booth.

“It’s supposed to ‘rest’ overnight so that it can fully open up,” Randy cautioned. “You can use it tomorrow.”

Let it rest? Fully open up? I started getting nervous. Would I have to feed and water it each day? Not sure where to store it that first evening, I let our newest family member sleep on the living room couch.

The big test came the next night. Randy was at a gig and coming home late. The first pilot run with our new pillow would be mine. It took some wrestling, but I finally heaved this canoe-sized pillow, which I nicknamed Jaws — we’re gonna need a bigger mattress — into bed with me. I knew Jaws meant well, but cuddling up to this enormous pillow felt like being in bed with Lurch from the Addam’s Family. Jaws was all bulk and didn’t have much to say. I wondered if this qualified as adultery in some states.

The next morning, I worried about making our bed with Jaws. Would this massive rectangular gorilla get along with the regular-size pillows? Alas no. I tried tucking Jaws discreetly behind the others, but they kept sliding down, not able to withstand Jaws’ immense bulk. Obviously, Jaws was a solo act. I finally stored Jaws under our bed.

A New Best Friend

The next night Randy said he’d try Jaws himself. Even his eyes showed a flicker of wariness as he hefted this huge mass of cotton to curl up against. But because Randy is 6’5”, Jaws fit him better. Still, even Randy had to jostle this monster into position a few times during the night, just to show Jaws who’s boss.

The nice thing is Randy has now taken to Jaws, and I think, vice versa. Every night he pulls that huge behemoth from under our bed and it fits nicely with Randy’s large frame. Jaws also cushions his arthritic joints which get achy.

And even though all this began as a birthday gift for me, I’m happy Randy got the pillow of his dreams.

But here’s the good part: In addition to Jaws, Randy had also bought me a beautiful cashmere sweater, soft and warm for any cool nights that lie ahead.

Yes, Jaws might be too much pillow for me, but to my delight, the sweater fit just right.

Laurie Stone writes from the woods of Easton, Conn. Her blog, “Musings, Rants &Scribbles,” shares thoughts on growing up, older and (hopefully) wiser. Follow her on Facebook, Twitter, and Pinterest.