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What Are the Seven Coolest Things About Being An Introvert?

Laurie Stone Introvert

You’re an introvert. You’re wired differently. And even better, you realize this trait comes with some great benefits.


By Laurie Stone

You know the feeling. You spend much of your life thinking something’s wrong. You’re alone a lot, usually with your nose in a book or daydreaming. But then someone puts a label on it and everything falls into place. You’re an introvert. You’re wired differently. And even better, you realize this trait comes with some great benefits…

You like your own company. Ever notice how after a meeting, people like to linger and talk in small groups? I never got that. Even if the gathering went well — even if a great time was had by all — I can’t get out fast enough.

If that’s true for you too, then you’re an introvert. It has nothing to do with the other people. They’re usually smart, interesting and nice. You just want to get back on your own turf. When I was younger, I thought something was wrong. Now I realize it’s a gift to like your own company.

You protect yourself. I know outgoing humans who thrive on days filled with schmoozing, meetings and people, people, people. They love talking, persuading and discussing. Politicians and salespeople come to mind.

That life would exhaust me. And I used to think I needed to keep up with more extroverted friends and relatives. But I’ve learned to be gentle with myself, to do what feels right. I’ve learned to balance the need for people with the need for solitude.

You like to think. And this means pondering everything — from world politics to what kind of dark chocolate has better flavor to who has the worst plastic surgery on the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills.

My biggest fear is not having time to organize my thoughts, like when I have to introduce myself in a formal group. I fumble for words. I over think it. My heart beats fast. I envy people who effortlessly talk off the cuff. Instead, I need time to process. Even more, I need to see my thoughts on paper. Maybe that’s why so many writers are introverts.

You love public libraries. I do much of my writing in libraries, which to introverts are shrines, temples to wisdom, ideas and inspiration.

Libraries are the best of all places, hushed, but full of people — quiet people. You can be in your own head, but still feel like you’re getting social contact. They’re also great places to observe — retirees, young mothers, teenagers, couples and businessmen. Introverts love nothing more than hanging back and taking it in.

You need people … just not all the time. This includes everyone, even your family and best friends.

I’m travelling with my mother this spring. The first thing we said when booking hotels was we needed separate rooms. She’s also an introvert. We get that about each other. It has nothing to do with if you love someone or how close you are. Introverts need privacy, our own sacred space to be ourselves.

You’re sensitive. I realized this as a 6th grader. One day, mean females were teasing a heavy girl sitting near me on the school bus. She put on a brave front, but I could tell she was ready to cry.

I noticed she was wearing a new outfit. I wondered if she had put on that red skirt with hopes of a good day, maybe even making friends. Now I heard kids whispering cruel things about her. I wanted to tell them to stop, but lacked the courage. Meanwhile, the rest of the bus paid no attention.

Since then, I’ve felt this way many times. There’s too much violence, aggression and indifference in this world. And like the bus, I feel affected by it. Many times I’ve reminded myself it’s the sensitive and brave who make the best changes. I have the first part down. I’m working on the second.

You’re cautious. My late father could run and dive into any body of water, no matter how cold or intimidating. I always admired him for that. Me? I’d creep bit by bit into lakes others could jump into within minutes.

And this is how introverts take life. We go slow, inch-by-inch, whether new experiences, people, or places. Yet there’s a benefit. When you go slower, you notice things — that shy smile, a cat bathing in the sun, the way the clouds form patterns above. 

In the end, it’s different, but it’s also nice. I’ve come to terms with never having the social stamina of a politician or salesperson. I don’t know how they go through their days, always being on, having such little private, reflective time.

I guess we all have to accept who we are.

And I wouldn’t swap my life of reading, daydreaming and pondering for anything.

Laurie Stone writes from the woods of Easton, Conn. Her blog, Musings, Rants &Scribbles,” shares thoughts on growing up, older and (hopefully) wiser. Follow her on FacebookTwitter, and Pinterest.


8 Responses to “What Are the Seven Coolest Things About Being An Introvert?”

  1. I often wonder if blogging in particular attracts introverts because we own our turf. Thought provoking piece. It’s all true for me yet I might be an extrovert.

  2. Michele says:

    I used to think being an introvert was somehow a big character flaw of mine. But now I LOVE it. I wish I had befriended all those who others were being mean to all those years ago. But I often struggled at being social at the same time…or I was the weird girl being picked on myself.

  3. Rena says:

    I was nodding my head all the way through. Even with my husband of 27 years, I need space. That’s the hardest part of being my mom’s caregiver. I’m never alone anymore so I stay up late when everyone else is asleep. That’s how I get my fix.

  4. Alana says:

    I grew up thinking there was something wrong with me. Now I know better. I agree with everything you said, especially your observation about libraries. They are heaven for me.

  5. I am not an introvert but appreciate people who are like my son and hubby.

  6. Tanya says:

    This really resonated with me. So often people see introverts as being weak, disconnected, or disengaged when many times, it’s quite the contrary. I have varying degrees of introvertedness and can be an extrovert too. I find when I’m leaning more on the introverted side, people don’t really know how to handle it. Thanks for sharing!

  7. shelley says:

    I almost got whiplash from nodding my head so hard!

  8. ustun says:

    As an introvert myself, Chris, I can tell you that I never feel lonely, but oh, do I need that alone time!!! Silence and solitude are my friends. And you”ve given great tips for how to understand the introvert when you are not one. Blessings!


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